i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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