Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
