I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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