I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
