It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
