I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
