when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
