Your mouth is God's brothel.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
