Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
