My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
