I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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