Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
