I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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