She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
