69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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