So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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