AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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