I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
