My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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