bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
