It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
