god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
