apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
