Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
