I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
