Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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