I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
