from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
