Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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