Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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