I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
