yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
