: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
