I accidentally had phone sex last night
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
