biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
