there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
