According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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