i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
