I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
