i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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