And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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