it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I came so hard my ears popped.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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