What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
