K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
