we have pet lesbian snakes
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
