gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
