Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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