So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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