i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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