yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
