Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
